Love Marriage

Being in love is a beautiful feeling and being loved by someone is divine.I feel Love has a different feel and meaning at different stages of life.It often begins with the love towards your mother,so selfless and complete.And as the hormones have a kick inside your body it all goes haywire,as a teenager, parents are the last people you want to listen to.All you can think is that you are beautiful,and all the boys in the world want you!(well not all)
As a teenager I was happy with my studies,after a long battle with mathematics i finally chose to leave it behind and say it goodbye forever!(phew).So i was glad and doing well,as far as my looks go i didn't believe i was Aishwarya Rai but i was happy with whatever attention I was getting(not a lot) and certainly not from that one guy i wanted the most!
My teachers always thought I was that ambitious types,who will certainly do well in her career.
Even i thought to see myself working as a Journalist in NDTV and used to imagine myself reporting on TV someday!(day dreams).Had my goals set WORK : NDTV news, MARRIAGE : 23-24 , KIDS : Didn't think about it , WEDDING DRESS AND JEWELLERY : Rajasthan and also if i meet a mega rich guy may even marry in a palace! Love Rajasthan!
Do all girls thought the way i did at my age?Maybe.....But my plans didn't really turn out the way i had decided.
There was this guy a family friend's son,didn't even know him before but suddenly landed with his dad at our house.I knew his dad (grandad's friend)who used to come almost every year from kashmir with lots of nuts and apples, quite boringly talkative so i stayed away most of the times.
Arshad,his son,seemed nice but i was't interested(pretended).I was lost with the thoughts of my prince charming!(in school).They stayed for 3-4 days and Arshad asked me to be his pen friend,i agreed.Well to cut the long story short....he proposed after a year.I said that i was too busy in my studies(lied) and no time for an affair! The pen friendship we had slowly turned into no friendship and i didn't bother.He called once or twice but I was cold and unfriendly(don't know why).I used to think of him at times but he was not my prince charming........
At my school front,my Prince charming without knowing my lovey dovey feelings for him,left the school and went away! I was now left with no excitement in school(in life),only boring books and frightful teachers.
One boring evening Arshad called, saying he is leaving for England tomorrow and wanted to meet me(my heart raced).Suddenly life was again exciting and romantic!I felt a little bad for him leaving and sadly i couldn't meet him because it was evening and good girls don't go out alone in evenings.We talked on phone and said goodbyes,he gave me his phone number where he was staying in delhi(just incase).The whole evening i only thought about him and discussed him with my little sis(who was crazy about him)who kept on saying what a fool i was...........was I?
That night I took the phone in the bathrhoom and called him,didn't know what to say!but it all was so romantic(like in the books).He sounded so wonderful and he cared so much about me, and when he said he loved me i felt like a thousand butterflies were tickling in my stomach!without a thought i said i loved him too.(love??)It felt so right,he was so thrilled!We exchanged emails and said our goodbyes,again!
Later in bed i said to myself not to get that serious about all this.....he is going to UK(the land of goris)he wont remember me for long, he'll have a girlfriend there in no time and all the fun!
but i was happy,to tell all my girlfriends about my first boyfriend ever.....in UK.
We mailed each other quite regularly and got to know each other better.He was honest in his writings and was struggling to live and study there(tooo expensive).but he said my mails kept him going(how sweet)!
Slowly i realised that he is very serious about me and even was thinking about us getting married!Here,my dad( law graduate)read one of my emails one day and was very calm not entirely happy but discussing about me getting married the hindu -muslim marriage act in court etc and i was like hang on!!who said i was marrying him??its too early and IAm 16......wake up world!!its not the 18th century,for god sake!
Anyways that day for the first time i realised the significance that he was a muslim and i a hindu(poles apart)!but i was young and didn't bother about religion or anything for that matter.
After one long year Arshad was coming back an how i longed to meet him.Now that my parents knew about the whole thing, I told my mother(very supportive) about our first meeting and she was a bit reluctant but trusted her responsible eldest daughter.So I went, all dressed up in a public place of course,I saw him with flowers.......and quickly thought oh god no! he is fat and looks soo matured!(a doctor,by then).Smiled but annoyed with myself.We both were uncomfortable(me,extremely!).He gifted me a watch(didn't like) and flowers and after me not talking that much left for home(relieved).
The meeting was not at all what i was hoping for,no good vibes from my side or from him.I thought to myself i will end all this tomorrow morning saying sorry.....it can't work!
but i couldn't....too scared and confused!!now i know he felt the same,no not for my looks but other serious matters like religion and our age gap(10years)!more confusion! We still continued like this!What kept me going was his love for me,immense and passionate(not in that sense).All he cared about in the world was ME(that time).I couldn't let go of him,i knew no one could love me the way he did.
There were a lot of ups and downs in our relationship but he just stuck there(fevicol) for all the times only for me!I loved him for being sooo extra nice.
Slowly our families got involved and another enlightment unravelled Arshad was of marriageable age and he needed to marry soon.My nervous parents thought only about us and our marriage!
i loved him right...but marriage now!plzzzz no way!That's how i felt but couldn't say much,too scared to say that, now!(where was my ambitious spirit?)
We all were apprehensive different religions, age ,family, relatives.....too much happening!
Relatives were unhappy but not opposing ,my family was eager and Arshad,desperate!
and me......just wanted to run away somewhere!
Finally at 19 i was rushed to marry in Kashmir the Muslim way,not in a palace but a hotel terrace,not in a rajasthani dress but a typical red bridal lehnga and hideous make up,with 50 people and just handful of my folks,didn't feel marriage at all!
Apart from not having a dream wedding and signing my career goodbye(temporarily) everything else seemed perfect.A doting husband, nice in-laws, a new life in UK.
I had a Love Marriage!